So, here's how it works:
1) Multiply the number of letters in your first name by the number of letters in your last name, then go to the first page of your journal and go to http://(yourusername).livejournal.com/?skip=(whatevernumberyougot). Your phrase starts with the your-ageth word of the post you get.
2) Add together 1 for every A in your username, 2 for every B in your username, and so on. Add 27 for every underscore. If you have any numbers in your username, add them as well. Divide by the total amount of letters, digits, and underscores in your username. Round down to the nearest whole number. Go to your tags page and count your tags until you get to that number. Add that tag to your phrase.
3) Count how many letters, digits, and underscores are in the name of the first community you joined - this number will be X, and then go to the profile of the community you most recently joined and count the words in their about section until you get to the Xth word. Add this to your phrase.
4) Repeat, but with the first community and the most recent community switched.
5) Multiply the month of your birthday by the day of your birthday (for example, July 14 = 7 × 14 = 98). Go to http://(yourusername).livejournal.com/?skip=(whatevernumberyougot) and add the name of the first fictional character you mentioned in that post to your phrase. If you didn't mention any fictional characters in that post, go to the post before that. If you still didn't, go to the post before that. Keep going until you find one. If you get all the way to your first post without finding any fictional characters mentioned, go to your most recent post and keep going.
6) Add the last word of the most recent comment not by you in your journal to your phrase.
7) Divide the year you were born by 3. If the remainder is 1, add "a" to your phrase. If your remainder is 2, add "an" to your phrase. If there is no remainder, add "the" to your phrase.
8) Does the last word of your bio come ___ your username in alphabetical order? If so, add that to your phrase. If not, does the second-to-last word of your bio come ___ your username in alphabetical order? If so, add that to your phrase. If not, keep going until you finally get to a word that is ___ your username in alphabetical order.
(If your username starts with a letter from N to Z, replace blanks with "after"; otherwise, replace blanks with "before")
9) Adjust capitalization and punctuation as you see fit.
Self, forgetfulness is newish MissingNo. apocalypses a have.