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Well, I had my worst birthday ever a couple of weeks ago.

It wasn't terrible, but it was still my worst birthday ever, because it still reminded me that I'm a horrible person for not liking wearing masks and wanting the mask policies to EVER end and feeling like people are too harsh to each other about the issue.

I'm not even gonna bother listing the presents I got this year. I did get presents, but I may as well not have because it's clear that society will NEVER return to normal, and I'll never be happy enough to TRULY enjoy anything if it doesn't.


It's 3:39 AM where I am and I'm tired and I tried to go to bed, but I can't sleep because all I can think about is how people think I'm a horrible person for how I feel about masks and social distancing.


If you DON'T think I'm a bad person, please tell me. Even if you think you have already. Because to me, "you're not a bad person but masks/social distancing is important right now" or "you're not a bad person but maybe you could look at it differently" sounds like "you ARE a bad person and it's your own fault you're feeling this way".

And if you actually do think I'm a bad person, please tell me THAT, as well, instead of making me guess.

Comments

( 72 pigeons used the Internet — You're quite honest, aren't you? )
dixonvixen
Jul. 26th, 2020 06:32 pm (UTC)
You’re not a bad person Matt. I hate masks too. They’re miserable and make me itch.
matt1993
Jul. 26th, 2020 09:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks :)
remmingtonglock
Jul. 26th, 2020 07:06 pm (UTC)

You're a happy person ❤️

matt1993
Jul. 26th, 2020 09:50 pm (UTC)
I am occasionally. But not often enough. :(

Thank you though :)
fiberaddict
Jul. 26th, 2020 09:42 pm (UTC)
Saw your post on top LJ, don’t know you, but whole-heartedly agree. You’re not - NOT - a bad person.
matt1993
Jul. 26th, 2020 09:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :D

(Wait. My post is in the top LJ posts? I'm scared...)

Edited at 2020-07-26 09:50 pm (UTC)
wanderipity
Jul. 26th, 2020 10:26 pm (UTC)
I don't like masks either and I want the mask policies to end.

I want to see if anyone will get triggered by my statement without knowing that I am actually a nurse and do wear masks because "I follow rules." Regardless, you feel what you want to feel and just like with any other contagious illness, you're not going around spreading them lol
matt1993
Jul. 26th, 2020 10:34 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm glad there's at least four people who agree with me. I just wish others agreed with me instead of acting like I'm spreading disease just by not wearing a mask 100% of the time instead only wearing it in places where I'm required to. Based on what I see on Twitter, I feel like people think I'm a bad person just for complaining about it or for finding it difficult to breathe. (I know they say it doesn't actually impair breathing, but it's so uncomfortable that sometimes it makes me FORGET to breathe and even makes me end up coughing. So I don't blame people for getting triggered by having to wear them!)
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breakherbelljar
Jul. 27th, 2020 12:16 am (UTC)
Just stopping by to let you know a stranger read this and corona sucks.

But you are not a bad person, this will end and you will be happy again.
matt1993
Jul. 27th, 2020 02:27 am (UTC)
Thanks :)
glowing_dragon
Jul. 27th, 2020 02:37 am (UTC)
Unlike what some people think (not necessarily you, Matt), masks do not impede your breathing and do not irritate your skin. That said, Matt is not a bad person.
matt1993
Jul. 27th, 2020 02:50 am (UTC)
They might not DIRECTLY impede my breathing, but I have at times forgotten to breathe with mine on because it's so uncomfortable. I honestly don't blame people for not wanting to wear masks because they're uncomfortable. And I feel that lecturing people and being like "MASKS DO NOT IMPEDE YOUR BREATHING!" is why so many people - myself included - hate wearing masks.
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Jul. 27th, 2020 05:34 am (UTC)
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heyurs
Jul. 27th, 2020 06:36 pm (UTC)

Matty! Sorry I am late to this party. You are NOT a bad person for hating wearing a damn mask. I hate it, too. It is hot and very humid where I live, and it is yucky, but, I do wear one. I have cloth ones and disposable ones, because YES, FACE MASKS CAN CAUSE RASHES! Fortunately for me, my place of work is closed to the public and everybody else is working from home. There are some things that have to be taken care of by a human at the workplace, but I honestly love it, because there is NO ONE HERE. On rare days, there may be a few that come in, but I am in the back, in my office, and doing my own thing. I wear a mask when I arrive to work. I go straight to my office. I take it off, but when someone approaches, I put it back on until they leave. When I leave my office to do anything, I have my mask on. I take it off in the car, go home, and don't put it back on until I exit my car to go into the workplace again. Is this what you wanted? You are not a bad person, Matty. I have another friend who can't wear them because her oxygen levels fall. Even her church members have been ugly with her! :O She stays home as much as possible, but gets claustrophobic, too, after a while. *sigh* It's just a harsh time right now. Please don't worry, Matty, about this. People are going to think and say whatever, no matter what. Just be careful and do what you need to do to stay safe.

*big hugs*
p.s. ---> I sent you a v-gift for your birthday! ♥

matt1993
Jul. 27th, 2020 09:31 pm (UTC)
Exactly! :D

I hate how people are being so harsh to each other about this issue. On ALL sides of the issue, really. We're all depressed and anxious right now, so why are so many people kicking each other while they're already down by shaming them for things that USED TO BE OKAY?!

Thanks for the v-gift :)
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amarissia
Jul. 28th, 2020 08:52 pm (UTC)
*hug* I don't think you're a bad person. I think it's perfectly reasonable to be grumpy about the inconveniences of life right now. I'm prone to panic attacks and wearing a mask is REALLY uncomfortable for me. I do it, but I do hate it. Tensions are high. Be gentle with yourself.
matt1993
Jul. 28th, 2020 10:06 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)
arcadia30
Sep. 2nd, 2020 04:50 am (UTC)

Ive just seen this entry. I dont always wear a mask because of my SPD affects my ability to do so. Most people dismiss SPD because peoples experiences with it can vary A Lot and people dont seem to know or accept this. So, it just makes it harder because theyre all 'well i/they can do it, so can you'. And it annoys me SO MUCH! i have found face shields are easier to wear as they dont touch the face and i can breathe easily, which was so needed during the heatwave this summer. And there are people who aggressively say thats not enough, useless or ineffective. Despite the number of studies proving theyre MORE effective than cloth face masks in protecting the wearer. There just hasnt been any research into if it provides against transmission from the wearer to another person. Its already been theorised that large droplets would be caught be the plastic shield, but its the aerosol theyre not sure about. Although there are studies that show the probability of catching the virus from aerosol transmission is quite small.

I have a badge and lanyard that says im exempt from mask wearing.

Autistic people are exempt from wearing a mask :) There more to protecting against the virus than just mask wearing, theres social distancing and hand washing. The reason why mask wearing is a hot topic is because transmission through saliva droplets when someone cough, sneezes, laugh or talks, is the main way this virus is spread. So, thats the logic behind it.

Just remember people tend to act out of aggression and hostility, when theyre scared. So, its not you. The problem is with you. Its their fear about a very real danger. But with that being said, its not am excuse for them to take it out on others. But it does help to understand why they do :)

matt1993
Sep. 2nd, 2020 04:57 am (UTC)
And it annoys me SO MUCH!

Right? :(

Autistic people are exempt from wearing a mask :)

Apparently they aren't at my workplace. I'm still required to. Thankfully, I don't have any conditions that make it impossible to wear it at all, but it's still not possible for me to keep it on the ENTIRE day.

theres social distancing and hand washing.

Well, I'm not great at those either, so I'm still a bad person. :(

I hope the very real danger goes away soon so that people stop taking it out on others so much. :'(
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( 72 pigeons used the Internet — You're quite honest, aren't you? )

Profile

updated prtsc land me
matt1993
Remember when 'hug' wasn't a cuss word?
My DreamWidth

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September 2020
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Blurb

I'm depressed. Because the world is ending and there has not been ANY proof that things will ever get better. I'm unable to think about anything except the fact that the world is ending, no matter how hard I try

I hate, hate, hate, HATE the term "social distancing". And being reminded of the coronavirus in any other way.

That's my entire personality now. And it will be until our world is back to normal.

Please read this entry before you comment on ANY entry in my journal about the coronavirus: https://matt1993.livejournal.com/373852.html

Comments

  • 4 Sep 2020, 20:21
    They probably won't be mandatory forever, but you still have to wear them.

    I thought I told you that I DO wear a mask whenever I am required to or am told to. Why are you acting like I don't?…
  • 2 Sep 2020, 17:54
    Looking back at the Spanish Flu pandemic, it obviously wasn't like that forever. I don't know if people had problems with being able to adjust.

    They probably won't be mandatory forever, but you…
  • 2 Sep 2020, 13:42
    well before the pandemic, youre supposed to wash your hands before you eat, and after youve been to the toilet. Or if youve got something on your hands. Thats all.

    With the pandemic, its an add on…
  • 2 Sep 2020, 07:07
    Even before this pandemic I've tried to wash my hands whenever I needed to - but I've never been sure if I'm doing so well enough or often enough. :(
  • 2 Sep 2020, 06:59
    but this is now our new normal.

    As I said to arcadia30 above, I'm tired of hearing "new normal" because it implies that it will be like this forever and/or that I'm a bad person for being unable to…
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