?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Tidbits of Matt's Life

This is where I post my incoherent ramblings. It's where I post the coherent ones, too!


July 30th, 2015

Lorem ipsum drama trigger depression bad memories, gloomy flame war controversy painbow amet. :( @ 11:57 am

Right now I am annoyingly: depressed depressed
Soundtrack: New Super Mario Bros. Wii soundtrack - Castle theme

(I hope I don't end up overusing this and my previous entry's style of subject line as much as I overused "When the End Times come, we will all <verb> the <Noun Phrase> of the Apocalypse" back in the day...)


One (I hope) last entry before I actually go through with changing my journal style, because I really don't want this to be the first thing I post about after I change it:


So, a couple of days ago, I Googled "overcoming stress" and found some of these articles, which led me to the rest even though they're not all necessarily about stress:

http://lifehacker.com/5976310/nine-strategies-successful-people-use-to-overcome-stress
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm
http://lifehacker.com/5945018/to-succeed-forget-self-esteem
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/how-to-stop-worrying.htm
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/07/11/10-practical-ways-to-handle-stress/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-path-passionate-happiness/201406/overcome-stress-saying-thanks
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/culture-shrink/201507/6-helpful-things-say-depressed-person
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201507/the-secret-reason-so-many-us-procrastinate
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-path-passionate-happiness/201502/love-yourself-you-love-others
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/07/22/learning-to-let-go-of-past-hurts-5-ways-to-move-on/#at_pco=tst-1.0&at_si=55b8220dbf8b4d99&at_ab=per-2&at_pos=1&at_tot=2
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2013/12/10-signs-you-are-emotionally-attached-to-a-negative-past/

These helped me feel a LOT better!... at first.

Then I got to these:

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/04/09/invisible-victims-when-men-are-abused/
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/02/11/beware-of-she-wolves/

When I read these, they resonated REALLY well with how I felt about the Forbidden Comment Threads! I thought my depression would be over for good!

...at first.

But then I read the comments on the last two articles. Now, despite having at one point almost completely gotten over my worry about suddenly being hated by everyone, even you guys, if I don't word something very well or it gets misread, I'm now back where I started. Because the comments on those articles suggest - no, prove - that I am a horrible, pathetic excuse for a human being just for feeling the way I feel about the Forbidden Comment Threads. And that I can never be forgiven for ANYTHING. :(

 
Spread the word  |  |

Comments

 
[User Picture Icon]
From:eccentricrabbit
Date:July 30th, 2015 08:05 pm (UTC)
(Link)

Not many humans have a forgiving nature. This doesn't make you a bad person - or your mistakes unforgivable. It's a fatal flaw of humanity.


I look at abused animals who forgive humans of their abuse/neglect... and trust them again... and wish humans were the same.


To be honest I'm sure what you did was not as 'bad' as you think. I'm sure they don't hate you... perhaps it just feels that way to you? If you said something you didn't mean then apologize and walk away... if you said something you DID mean and people took offense? Well that's not your problem - it's theirs!

[User Picture Icon]
From:matt1993
Date:July 31st, 2015 04:13 am (UTC)
(Link)
This doesn't make you a bad person - or your mistakes unforgivable. It's a fatal flaw of humanity.

To be honest I'm sure what you did was not as 'bad' as you think. I'm sure they don't hate you... perhaps it just feels that way to you? If you said something you didn't mean then apologize and walk away... if you said something you DID mean and people took offense? Well that's not your problem - it's theirs!

:) This is what I usually try to tell myself whenever I'm getting worried about suddenly being hated for ANYTHING. Sometimes I'm able to convince myself not to worry so much... sometimes I can't. :(

[User Picture Icon]
From:eccentricrabbit
Date:August 1st, 2015 06:09 am (UTC)
(Link)
I get that. I can't even follow my own advice most of the time either. ;)
[User Picture Icon]
From:matt1993
Date:August 1st, 2015 11:17 pm (UTC)
(Link)
;)
[User Picture Icon]
From:pathvain_aelien
Date:August 3rd, 2015 01:49 am (UTC)
(Link)
You are not a horrible person. In fact, you are the best person I've ever known. So I will give you a hug. Also, you need to show me the FCT because maybe then I can do better at reassuring you.
[User Picture Icon]
From:matt1993
Date:August 5th, 2015 12:54 am (UTC)
(Link)
You are not a horrible person. In fact, you are the best person I've ever known. So I will give you a hug.

Aww, thanks! :)

*hugs*

Also, you need to show me the FCT because maybe then I can do better at reassuring you.

Next time I come over to your apartment, remind me and I'll show you. (And remind me to bring the Hyperbole and a Half book - remember how we'd decided we'd finish reading it after reading the FCT in case I needed cheering up?)


In the meantime, the three things closest to the FCT that I can show you (excluding the Game Theory stuff, because you've commented on the entry about that already) are:


1) The Forbidden Comment Threads Ω, which I've recently subtly admitted in a LJ post - and fully admitted to one of my LJ friends in some private messages (not sure if I should mention who, though) - was the Gamergate controversy (or the Wikipedia article about it anyway, which was bad enough that I'm not even going to make sure yet that the link I provided works). For a while it (and the fact that there's a Wikipedia article on "sexism in video games", which I've steered clear of for obvious reasons) made me feel like I could suddenly be hated for liking ANY video game of ANY kind. Except Pong and Tetris... maybe. Once you read it, you'll see why I was so hesitant to actually call Gamergate Gamergate for so long.

2) Did you actually read these two articles that I included in the entry - and the comments on them? They're the closest thing to the original FCT that I've seen since the FCT...

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/04/09/invisible-victims-when-men-are-abused/
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/02/11/beware-of-she-wolves/

3) Similarly, did you see this video I linked to in my previous entry?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7jGmyVjywU

Until the aforementioned series of private messages, this made me feel like I could be judged just because I'm planning to get Super Mario Maker...
[User Picture Icon]
From:pathvain_aelien
Date:August 27th, 2015 07:11 am (UTC)
(Link)
Yes, I read them and saw the video, so don't worry so much. You are definitely over-thinking it.
[User Picture Icon]
From:matt1993
Date:August 27th, 2015 02:59 pm (UTC)
(Link)
:) Thanks!

Tidbits of Matt's Life

This is where I post my incoherent ramblings. It's where I post the coherent ones, too!