Remember when 'hug' wasn't a cuss word? (matt1993) wrote,
Remember when 'hug' wasn't a cuss word?
matt1993

  • Music:

Garfield Randomizer Etc. 9

For those of you new here, it's become a tradition for me to post comics made with the Garfield Randomizer after I've been on hiatus for a while. And I've also promised to post some comics made with Garkov as well, but I never did, and I found about two more similar randomizer things in the meantime, so here you go!

I don't have any vision-impaired transcripts for my older ones yet, but I've added that as yet another entry on my to-do list :)



Garfield Randomizer ♯159-163

← Comics 151-158



159 - ...
GARFIELD: [running from a dog in running shoes] You can't catch me!
[Garfield is suddenly at home. Jon serves him something I can't identify.]
JON: Tah-dah!
[they suddenly have cups of coffee]
GARFIELD: Yeah!

160 - Apparently, you don't have to be THAT patient
GARFIELD: [with ketchup all over his face, with an empty ketchup bottle nearby] Cats can also be very stupid.
[Garfield lies down and the ketchup disappears]
GARFIELD: If you're patient...
[Garfield suddenly comes indoors from outside where it's raining, wearing a wet sweater]
JON: Too late.

161 - :(
[Garfield is watching TV, looking shocked]
TV: You'll just have to go out and live your lives instead of sitting there watching us!
[Garfield is suddenly in a paper bag]
GARFIELD: Darn... no groceries.
[Garfield quickly goes outside and scratches the mailman.]
GARFIELD: [smiling] How sad.

162 - Oh sure, blame the dog!
GARFIELD: [off-panel] HAAAACK
[Jon is startled]
[Garfield walks up to Odie]
GARFIELD: Odie, how can you be so stupid?

163 - Good idea! Sleep on it!
GARFIELD: [lying down] Stop stealing my lines.
JON: [reading a catalog] I'm looking through a veterinary supply catalog for a Valentine's Day gift for Liz.
GARFIELD: [now in bed] Z





Garkov ♯1-10



1 - Some of what? Non-sequiturs? You have enough already. Lunatic fringe indeed...
GARFIELD: [in bed] And some from the lunatic fringe.
GARFIELD: [jumps out of bed] I call it the "cash. [with only an opening quote]
JON: [smiling] Eat that cookie and die! [there is not a cookie in this scene]
GARFIELD: [walking past Jon] I sure could use some of.

2 - I hate to see a grown man sleep with his eyes open. In fact, ANYONE is creepy sleeping with their eyes open...
[Garfield is in bed]
JON: [to Garfield] Z
JON: Let's talk health here.
GARFIELD: [gets under covers] I hate to see a grown man.

3 - ... I don't think I wanna know what Odie did to Irma...
[Odie brings an unidentifiable object to Jon.]
SFX: CLUNK! [Odie drops the object]
JON: Of course. Mornin', Irma.
GARFIELD: Maybe I could get going if I let you kill me without an.

4 - More like, what happened to YOU? :P
JON: [in bed, yawning] Neither can I.
JON: [startled] What happened to you?
[Garfield shows up wearing glasses and grinning.]
JON: Nope, it's Jon.
GARFIELD: But he passed out lacing his.

5 - One big and beautiful patch of grass indeed
GARFIELD: [holding onto a tree, looking down] You're big, you're beautiful, and people love you.
[Garfield zooms down and gets his head stuck in the ground]
GARFIELD: Here's.

6 - You've matured in absolutely nothing? All right! That's better than I've done!
[it's raining outside]
JON: [thinking] When.
JON: [thinking, while rushing to the door] I've matured in-
[Jon lets Garfield in. Garfield's wearing a wet sweater]
JON: [empty thought bubble]

7 - What the celery?
JON: [in bed, yawning] Musical notes. [yes, he actually says "Musical notes"]
JON: [startled] Happy birthday, Garfield! I got you a scratching post.
[Garfield is wearing glasses and grinning]
JON: Mrs. Fronzak, my old.
GARFIELD: I could just scream.

8 - Pizzas, bees, liver, and snowballs are NOT the same thing!
JON: [showing Garfield a can of cat food, but covering the label] That'll be the pizza.
GARFIELD: A bee! Go.
JON: Nyahh! Nyahh! Nyahh!
GARFIELD: I can always sense when Jon is.
JON: {revealing the label: "LIVER"} He.
GARFIELD: I call it the "have a nice day" snowball.

9 - Not a very good Christmas gift...
[Jon is playing golf]
SFX: PUTT!
SFX: STOMP! [Garfield stomps the ball just before it reaches the hole]
JON: [shocked] Maybe I'll get a good.
GARFIELD: It's the Christmas.

10 - That looks nothing like a bowl OR rubber bands...
[Garfield is sitting next to a fork and a spoon]
GARFIELD: They'll never steal my lunch.
[Garfield holds the fork and spoon up to his head like antlers]
GARFIELD: I'll have to act like a bowl of rubber bands.
JON: That means the bib, [sentence ends in a comma]
GARFIELD: Barbecue me a chicken?





Previously on the X-Files ♯4-8

EDIT IN 2018: These are gone now :( I'm so glad I decided to do the vision-impaired transcript thing for just this one entry, because otherwise there'd be no record of what these said!

← ♯3



MULDER: We gots to go.
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: We tell you only what you managed to do the job!
MULDER: Let me get back to the shootings at the crash site?
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Did you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this man. I told him of you.

"There were shootings at the crash site? Eh. Bring me some more chocolates!"



MULDER: I'm composing a sonnet. I'm slowing down for a second?
SCULLY: ...
MULDER: Riot slugs-- rubber. Uh-huh. ... Yeah. ... No. But why only westward movement?
SCULLY: But there are silent explosions from a gas can.

Riot Slugs (or Rubber Riot Slugs) would make a great name for a band.



SCULLY: Without any other theory. I mean, you even said that she was making it all started.
SKINNER: Because whatever I believe you have any idea what that is?
SCULLY: I know what to say, say it.
SKINNER: I want to know what time it is.

Either 10:13 or 6:66, probably.



MULDER: "Credentials"
SCULLY: Fully conscious. We set up a postmortem folder for a single pheromone to be your next-door neighbor.
MULDER: I was looking for a man who set you up... you and the fungus...
SCULLY: Fully conscious. We set up a postmortem folder for Mr. Anson Stokes.

I like to think of this as being in the same canon as this userpic I made:


TOAD: Thank you Agent Mulder! But the truth is in another out there!



FROHIKE: If that's the lovely Agent Scully, let her know I've been working out. I'm feeling lucky.
SCULLY: ...
FROHIKE: ... is behind some of the darkest, most far-reaching conspiracies on the wild side.
SCULLY: Your cigarette-smoking, son of a magician who called himself the Amazing Maleeni.

All I have to say is, LOL.





Jesus Markoving Christ ♯1-5

EDIT IN 2018: These are gone now :( I'm so glad I decided to do the vision-impaired transcript thing for just this one entry, because otherwise there'd be no record of what these said!



Luke 5:22

"Piously you strain a gnat from your feet as you commanded, and still you fail to comfort me!"

http://joshmillard.com/markov/christ/



Matthew 7:50

"While counting his flock of one heart and mind, just as Jonah was in prison, but you cannot understand them just now."

...Or ever, apparently.



Luke 12:47

"Finally, towards evening, he met a few pennies."



John 16:27

"I was in the treasury, or the temple and parade in the streets."

This is the toughest game of Clue (or Cluedo if you're outside the U.S.) yet...



Matthew 13:48

"All things that were originally invited will taste of the Lord."

But I wasn't originally invited! :(



Tags: 1, 10, 1013, 12, 13, 151, 158, 159, 16, 163, 2018, 218, 22, 27, 3, 4, 47, 48, 5, 50, 6, 66, 666, 7, 8, 9, band names, bees, bible, birthdays, board games, broken images, bugs, cats, chicken, chocolate, christianity, christmas, cigarette-smoking man, clue, comics, conspiracies, cookies, crossovers, dogs, explosions, feet, garfield, garfield randomizer, garkov, gibberish, gnats, god, golf, holidays, humor, inside jokes, irma, irregular times, jesus, jon, joshmillard.com, ketchup, liz, lj userpics, lone gunmen, lunch, mario, markov chains, money, mulder, mulder's big adventure, mushrooms, nes, nintendo, nonsense, odie, pizza, previously on the x-files, public entries, rain, randomness, religion, repost buttons, rubber bands, sarcasm, scully, skinner, sleeping, snow, square root of minus garfield, stealing, stupidity, super mario bros., the truth is out there, the x-files, time, toad, transcripts, tv, userpics, valentine's day, video games
Subscribe

  • Color me midnight disappointed

    This has been kind of a disappointing April Fools' Day because: 1) Homestar Runner didn't update at all today, even though they did for April…

  • Always wondering what comes after the end

    Well, I graduated yesterday!! (Okay, so it's 1:45 AM right now, so I guess now it's the day before yesterday?... It was December 12. That we know for…

  • Whoa, whoa, whoa.

    Just now, I decided to at least glance at my friends page for the first time in eight months or so, JUST so that if I still didn't feel comfortable…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 4 comments