May 30th, 2021



Will the pandemic ever ACTUALLY end? Like, these days about 80% of the time it feels like things are improving enough that the pandemic will actually end, maybe even this year. But this is part of the other 20%. Because I STILL see people who think the pandemic will never actually end, which leads to me worrying that they could be right.

And will my PTSD over all the shaming that's happened ever end? I STILL am reminded a lot that so many awful people actually think that hugs and handshakes etc. SHOULD be forbidden forever and that people need to stop expecting anything to go back to normal. I'm still reminded a lot that people get angry at each other just for travelling AT ALL, even when complying with guidelines as best they can.

(Something I should have clarified a long time ago but I don't think I have yet: Many people have told me that it's more common that people get yelled at or scolded FOR wearing a mask, or FOR complying with other guidelines, etc. than the reverse. That's probably true. But the reverse does happen as well, and because of my social anxiety and my PTSD over the era when it seemed plausible that NOTHING would return to normal, the reverse is A LOT more terrifying to me personally. Does that make more sense?)

I need help. Now. I need someone to talk to who understands me. If you know of anything that can help me feel better, or any actual proof that the restrictions won't last forever, or anything that can help me feel like I'm NOT a bad person for having wanted things to not be cancelled or delayed so that I wouldn't end up having PTSD, etc., please let me know. Even if you feel like you'd be repeating yourself if you told me that things will get better or that I'm not a bad person.

I wish I didn't depend on validation from others so much just to not be depressed. :(