July 26th, 2020

sad stick war

I will NEVER be happy again. I'm more certain of this than ever before.

Well, I had my worst birthday ever a couple of weeks ago.

It wasn't terrible, but it was still my worst birthday ever, because it still reminded me that I'm a horrible person for not liking wearing masks and wanting the mask policies to EVER end and feeling like people are too harsh to each other about the issue.

I'm not even gonna bother listing the presents I got this year. I did get presents, but I may as well not have because it's clear that society will NEVER return to normal, and I'll never be happy enough to TRULY enjoy anything if it doesn't.

It's 3:39 AM where I am and I'm tired and I tried to go to bed, but I can't sleep because all I can think about is how people think I'm a horrible person for how I feel about masks and social distancing.

If you DON'T think I'm a bad person, please tell me. Even if you think you have already. Because to me, "you're not a bad person but masks/social distancing is important right now" or "you're not a bad person but maybe you could look at it differently" sounds like "you ARE a bad person and it's your own fault you're feeling this way".

And if you actually do think I'm a bad person, please tell me THAT, as well, instead of making me guess.