More Moya's Space Log. I'm up to 2,102 words now, and Team Brennario (it gets tedious to say "Mario, Luigi, Enya, and Moya" or "the Marios and the Brennans" over and over) is finally in space! Yay!
←Part 0 (edited) & Part 1 (unedited) Part 2 (edited) & Part 3→
Today sure has been a strange day.
I held a special dinner for my fifty-eighth birthday, to which I invited my entire family as well as Ross Cullum, Fionán and Éamonn deBarra, and Feargal Murray. Enya even brought Nicky and Roma Ryan along.
That might not sound very strange at first, but just as I was about to cut the cake, I was rudely interrupted by a noise that sounded kind of like "prlrlRLRL!" I quickly turned to find what it had come from - a green pipe had somehow come out of the floor. Then it made another noise that sounded kind of like, "Uh-uh-uh." And then this giant turtle/porcupine monster jumped out of the pipe, landing with such force that the floor started to shake, causing us all to fall over! Everyone except Enya and I started running around screaming once they managed to get up. Enya and I watched in shock as the monster grabbed Roma and Nicky, causing everyone else to panic even more.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!" the monster said. "Aren't they the cutest couple? Once I'm finished conquering the Mushroom Universe - and this one, too, now that I think about it - and Peach has finished baking me my galaxy-sized cake, I'm gonna force these two to write my empire's national anthem! HAHAHAHAHA!!"
"ENYA!!!" yelled Roma and Nicky.
Jumping back into the pipe (which made the "uh-uh-uh" noise again), and turning to Enya and I, the monster added, "Have fun with your stupid sailing away!" The pipe started to go back into the floor, but fortunately, we still managed to get in (causing it to make that noise twice more) just before it disappeared.
The pipe led to the field outside a white castle with a red roof and five towers. Above the doors was a stained-glass window depicting a woman with blonde hair wearing a crown and a pink dress. Around the castle, people with spotted mushroom-like heads were panicking the exact same way everyone at my dinner was. In front of the castle was the monster, who now had not only Nicky and Roma, but also the woman depicted in the window. I'm guessing that she is Peach. Looking up at the monster the same way Enya and I did earlier were two chubby men. One was wearing a red hat with an M on it, a red shirt, and blue overalls. The other was taller and thinner and wore a similar outfit, but with green instead of red, an L instead of an M, and darker blue overalls. Both had mustaches.
(an unedited part begins here)
"Hey, there's Mario and Luigi, the Mario Bros.!" said Enya, pointing to the men and starting to walk over to them. "I remember them from PrtSc Land!"
"PrtSc Land?" I asked, following her.
"Some weird webcomic I saw. The author put me, those guys, and a lot of other people in without the permission of any of them except his sister, forced Dido and I to hate each other for no reason whatsoever, and made everyone else pick sides. But then he gave up and never did anything with it. Those guys were on my side. And Bowser - that guy," - she pointed to the monster - "was on Dido's side."
We stood beside the Mario Bros. and looked up at Bowser.
"You're too late, Mario Bros.!" he shouted, looking down at them. He turned towards Enya and I. So did the Mario Bros. "And, uh..." Bowser continued, "...alternate universe...gender-swapped...Mario Bros...." (How could the Mario Bros. possibly be alternate versions of us?!) "...who are also annoying enough to follow me all--"
"MY NAME IS ENYA BRENNAN," Enya began, "AND--" - she pointed to me - "MY SISTER'S NAME IS MOYA!!"
"Shh!" I told her. "He'll ask us to do concerts!"
"Fine then," replied Bowser. "N With A Squiggle and Moria. Anyway, the power of the Stars is already MINE! And look what I got..."
Enya, the Mario Bros., and I looked at Bowser's hand (though, of course, I already knew he had Roma, Nicky, and Peach).
"GWAHAHAAH!" yelled Bowser. At the same time, Peach, Nicky, and Roma all screamed, "HELP US!"
"I'm HUUUUGE!" shouted Bowser after a brief pause. Oh good, I can mark that off my to do list now.
2) Save Nicky, Roma & Peach
3) Leave mean comments on PrtSc Land
"Even scarier up close, huh?" Bowser continued. He sure is narcissistic.
"MARIO! LUIGI!" screamed Peach. At the same time, Roma and Nicky screamed, "ENYA! MOYA!"
"Maybe I'll have Peach bake ME something for once...I could sure go for a galaxy-sized slice of cake right now!" continued Bowser. Ew. "I'm way too huge for this puny planet!" How? He's still smaller than it. "I deserve an empire that's more ME size! And I'll put it in the center of the universe! And I'll have..." - he looked in his full hand - "...uh...my non-Peach prisoners write the--"
"I'M ROMA, AND HE'S NICKY!!" interrupted Roma.
"Well, excUUUUUUse me! I'll have ROLE MODEL and NICKELBACK write its national anthem!"
If he didn't know their names, how did he know that they write "N With A Squiggle's" song lyrics? Or about Nickelback, for that matter?
"Have fun with your stupid mushrooms!" he finished, turning around and flying into the sky (which I just now noticed was dark). He disappeared in a flash of light that somehow made the sky bright. The mushroom people were no longer running around, but they still looked extremely worried.
"Mario! Luigi! Enya! Moya!" said a voice from the castle. How does whoever it was know our names? I thought. The only residents of this universe who I know heard Enya announce our names were Mario and Luigi, who are right here, and Bowser and Peach, who just left. The Mario Bros. headed towards the voice, doing silly-looking flying leaps while shouting, "WOOHOO!" and "WHEE!" and "YEAH-HA!" They sure are happy to have to rescue people from a turtle/porcupine thing. Enya and I followed. Enya had the dignity to not do those silly leaps, but apparently not enough to not jump over a bench with her arm in the air, saying, "Yah!" I, of course, went around the bench and did not jump at all. On the way, Luigi came to a crystal in the ground with smaller, multicolored pointy crystals inside it. He broke open the large crystal by punching it while spinning, which somehow made little starry trails behind his hands, as well as making an adorable, delicious-looking white star-shaped creature come out of his hat and go back in. How does it fit in there? Then he took all of the small crystals (or at least that's what I'm assuming - they disappeared, making pling! sounds, when he touched them). THIEF!
In front of the castle bridge were two more star creatures like the one in Luigi's hat, except that these were yellow. Maybe the one in Luigi's hat was vanilla and these two were lemon?
"Mario? Do you know where that monster came from? Any of you?" asked one of the lemon stars. "He took your princess and those strangers to the center of the universe!" Right, like a princess would be in love with a guy that looks like a plumber. "You all must hurry and save them!"
The vanilla star came out of Mario's hat, holding it.
"OH! Master Luma!" exclaimed one of the lemon stars.
"Wait a minute. Weren't you just in Luigi's hat when he stole those crystal things?" I asked Master Luma.
"For your information, Moya," said Luigi, sounding offended, "They are called Star Bits, and I was collecting them. During the Star Festival every hundred years, thousands of Star Bits fall from the sky and we collect them." My birthday's on the same day as the Star Festival? Cool!
"Okay then," I said to Master Luma. "Weren't you just in Luigi's hat when he collected the Star Bits?"
Master Luma went back between Mario's hat and his head and came out of Enya's, holding her hat the same way he did with Mario's. Enya twitched, startled, and looked at it. Then Master Luma went back between her hat and her head and came out of my hair. I was kind of expecting it, so I didn't jump as much as Enya did. Strange.
"Anyway, young master Luma," the lemon star continued, "Sorry to interrupt your magic trick, but did you get thrown overboard too? Good thing you're safe! I see...So you're going to stay in all of their caps, and Moya's hair, at once?" Are they telepathic or something? And if so, why does the lemon one still have to speak? "That should be safe for now..."
Um, that doesn't sound very safe at all. Especially if he's going to hide in my hair.
"But, the rest of you," the lemon star continued, "you have other things to worry about, like saving the princess!...But how?" He/she/it/yum paused. "I know! With young master Luma's help, you can use the power of the stars! And we Lumas can help a little too!"
So Master Luma is just named after his species? He must have some very uncreative parents when it comes to naming. If I were a Luma named Luma, I would be pretty depressed about it. I'd probably commit suicide by eating myself.
The lemon Luma spun for a couple of seconds and turned into a bigger, flat, less delicious-looking star with a smaller star like it and a light inside. Apparently, Lumas turn into inanimate objects. Kind of sad if you think about it.
"As thanks for saving our friends, we'll send you into space to get that monster!" said the Luma. No, not the other Luma - the one that just turned into an inedible whatever-it-was. Then again, Lumas don't seem to have mouths in the first place, so I guess that doesn't matter.
"Now! Let's go after them!" continued the Luma/double star thingy. "Come here! Shake your Wii Remote!" Wii Remote? Huh?
Without bothering to put on a space suit or anything, Mario walked straight through to the center of the double star thingy, which glowed when he was in it, and spun like Luigi did earlier. The star thingy spun with him, and then shot him into the sky. Luigi did the same. And then Enya started to, but--
"Are you out of your mind?!" I demanded. "Don't you need a space suit to go into space?"
"If they don't need space suits, I don't," she replied, sounding slightly annoyed. "And do you think anyone here knew right away that this would happen and made space suits?" She went into the star thingy and blasted off. Reluctantly, I went into the star thingy, held my breath and squeezed the sides of my stomach as hard as I could (that way, if it had turned out they did in fact need space suits, there would be a chance I would at least have lived long enough to tell them "I told you so" before I died from the lack of oxygen and atmospheric pressure), and blasted off. I don't know what that whole Wii Remote thing was about, because I spun just fine just by, well, spinning.
I think it's a rare thing for singers and plumbers (especially plumbers) to go into space without space suits to catch a turtle/porcupine monster.